Laura Schlessinger tells the harsh truth to complaining military wives overwhelmed by their husband’s deployments. It’s true that they aren’t dodging bullets but I would have couched that truth with a little more compassion. But that’s just me.

Radio talk show host “Dr. Laura” Schlessinger is tired of all the complaints she hears from military wives who say they’re lonely and overwhelmed.

“You’re not dodging bullets, so I don’t want to hear any whining — that’s my message to them,” said Schlessinger on a visit to Utah.

Schlessinger broadcast her daily radio program on ethics, morals and values from the Fort Douglas theater here Friday. It’s one of several visits Schlessinger is making across country this year, publicists said.

Schlessinger boasted of once talking a young woman out of marrying a solider, saying “warriors need warrior wives,” and the girl was unprepared.

“It’s very unwise to be married young when you’re going to be alone — everybody has to grow up first to know who they are,” said the talk show host, whose first marriage ended in divorce.

Schlessinger’s son, Deryk, is in the Army. She said his tour of duty has been extended because of disputes in Congress over funding the war. She also said Americans who don’t believe the Iraq war is related to a larger terrorism battle “need eye drops.”

And while she praised fathers who leave home for military service, she wouldn’t answer when asked how she feels about mothers who do the same.

“I’m going to leave that alone,” she said.

I just got home from putting my three year old grandson to bed. I’ve done it several times this week and to me it is a joy. He requires that I read him a book, then he reads that same book through again, with a little assistance from me.

Then, we say a prayer and share a hug and kiss. Afterwards, as I’m leaving his room, he never fails to say, “Mimi, I miss my Daddy.” I answer, “I know. I miss him too.”

I love putting my grandson to bed. It gives my daughter-in-law a little break and spending that time with him just before bed is precious.

My daughter-in-law is a splendid mother who is finishing her education degree while our son is in Iraq. She thought about dropping out when our son got his orders but decided to carry on and she’ll be finished next December. She is up early every day with our grandson and goes to school, keeps house, takes care of her son, the finances, the dog and is managing very well.

If she feels like complaining, we are there to listen. Sometimes it’s good to just vent.

There is nothing wrong with that. The key to getting through a spouse’s deployment is having people around you who care and are willing to step in to help when things seem overwhelming.

I remember the stress of being both mother and father to my children when my husband was deployed to Somalia. He left right before Christmas, leaving me to deal with that everlasting winter. It seemed to snow everyday. I had to learn how to handle the snowblower. The snow was piled so high we couldn’t see the house across the street.

Two weeks after my husband left, our cat, Bugsy died. It devastated our youngest daughter and broke all of our hearts. I really missed my husband’s cheery attitude especially.

Then, there was the worry about whether I made the right decisions with the kids. I let my son, who was a senior in high school, drive our van into Watertown to school in the snow. Today, looking back, I wonder what in the world I was thinking. But, the thing is, New York State takes very good care of their roads and our son never had an accident.

I was in charge of our family support group so was contacted when ever there was a family dispute, or a problem of any kind. The worst day came when I heard the news that my husband’s Executive Officer’s son had been in a terrible accident with his fellow cadets when they were returning from spring break at Disneyworld to West Point.

Two cadets were killed in the accident and my husband’s XO’s son lost his left arm. That was the most heartbreaking “support issue” that I have ever faced. The family was happy their son lived but heartbroken that he had such drastic injuries. West Point allowed him to finish the semester while he was recovering at Walter Reed but he was dismissed after the year was up because of the loss of his arm.

Life always seemed to close in on us when my husband was deployed. On another deployment when we were stationed at Fort Monroe, VA, our youngest daughter took our dog, Sugar on a leash out to the “dogfield” so she could go to the bathroom. It was the first time I had allowed her to take Sugar out, it was usually the job of our son, who was the oldest. But she wanted to do it so I let her.

A neighbor’s german shepherd charged out their back door while she was carrying in groceries and attacked Sugar just as my daughter was rounding the corner to bring her inside. We rushed Sugar to the pet emergency hospital and she died in the night after surgery. The memory of that awful time still brings tears to my eyes.

Yes, wives of soldiers sometimes whine but people like Laura Schlessinger need to realize that life can be overwhelming when the one left behind has to wake up everyday and face it without their spouse. They need people to come alongside and be there for them.

Military wives don’t need lectures, just someone to talk to. I used to call my mother everyday when we lived faraway and would complain about how lonely I was because my husband worked from dawn to dark and my children were little. “Talk to your children.” my mother told me. That was good advice.

I did and I still do.

One of my favorite movies back during the eighties was The Great Santini. I’m not saying that my husband was anything at all like Bull Meechum but when the kids and I watched we all saw some similarities in our families’ life to that of the Meechum family. Trying to fit in to a new community, dealing with school and the demands of Army life.

Trying to get the attention of a Dad who was kept very busy in his career. Staying out of trouble so as to not bring shame upon him. Lining up in formation to present their report cards to him.

But the heart of the Meechum family was Lillian Meechum. She was a true Southern belle, resilient and tough but totally devoted to her husband and children. She faced the realities of military life but stepped in to shield her children from her husband’s occasionally violent wrath.

It takes years to develop a strong spirit like Lillian Meechum’s and some military wives are very new at the game. They need encouragement and praise for enduring the deployments of their husbands.

Welcome Lorie Byrd at Wizbang Readers.